On small acts of kindness

A lady smiled at me in the supermarket.

I had had a shitty day. The 12 minutes it took me to leave my house at 10 pm, buy household essentials, and return, was the only time in my entire day that I had some quiet.

My ears were still ringing.

Angry protest voices

Teams notifications

Patriotic, revolutionary songs from 20 years ago

Netflix Tuduum

The YouTube video I kept on in the background as my emotional support animal

By the time I left the house, these noises were interspersed with my own voice

To-dos

Plans for the upcoming weekend

Worries about not exercising enough

Existential questions

As I mulled over the noise, unspooling one thread of thought after another, tube of toothpaste in hand, my eyes fell on a face.

Unfamiliar yet welcoming

Smiling, at me.

She smiled fully, not the evasive smile I pass an acquaintance at work whose name I don’t know though I know exactly where they sit, and it has been so long of being aware of their existence that it feels weird to acknowledge it now. I pass a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes and they return it as politely, just shy of real connection.

This lady’s smile was confident. She didn’t shroud her acknowledgement within the garb of simple politeness. 

It broke my trance. I realised I was a real person interacting with the world. Capable of being seen.

A man stood next to her, I assume her partner, both well-dressed. A full cart in front of her. Shampoo, chips, soda, baby soap, a party popper - one item of each category like a kid wanting to sample the entire store.

Maybe she was one of those parents who led by example - be nice to other people.

Maybe they were going out to celebrate her promotion after.

Or maybe her dad taught her to recognise somebody who could use a little ‘hi’.

Maybe she saw herself in me. She seemed roughly my age.

I wondered if she saw me. Really.

If she had been seeing me while I stood there, oblivious?

Maybe she whispered to her husband about the girl in her pajamas inspecting a toothpaste tube for 10 minutes and thought she needed help.

Or maybe she was kind without needing a reason.

I have come across people like that my entire life - who offer kindness without expecting anything in return. They take the gift of humanity and pass it on.

The barista who speaks more kindly than she needs to

The security guard who picks up the items you drop in the hall

The person in grocery store line who lets you ahead because you have just one item

The pedestrian who helps push your broken down scooter

The man serving Chabeel on a hot summer day

The stranger who smiles at you in the supermarket.

I smiled back. Fully this time.