Do You Really Want It—Or Just Want to Have Done It?

Where does motivation stem from - Is it the experience of an activity or its outcome?

Wanting to watch a movie? Easy example of experience based motivation. 

Wanting to complete a task at work though? Might just be that. It's about having completed it, not actually doing it.

Our lives are filled with never ending to-dos in both categories. But here's the real question- are the right things in the right bucket? 

Earning money could be an easy categorisation for a lot of people - it’s so much more enjoyable to already have and spend money than it is going through the process of acquiring it. The goal might be to prove a point to ourselves, that we can achieve what we set out to do, however hard. And just maybe, it could simply be the desire to experience the thrills of a challenge.

Similarly, a goal could be becoming a writer. But is the actual goal to immerse yourself in a journey with characters and experience a personal catharsis? OR is it is it to have written a book and be recognized as a famous author?

I find that life becomes a lot easier when I can identify why I want something. Not easier in the sense of being more convenient — in fact, it can be extremely uncomfortable to confront the truth behind your desires.

For example, you might face the truth “Oh, I have always wanted to be charitable, but not because I wanted to put any effort, but wanted to be perceived as such”. 

Or “I want to be a voracious reader, but I actually want to what I really want is to have read a lot of books, not to spend time actually reading.”

Still, it is easier because it uncovers the truth of my perceptions, or my identity.

The motivation of ‘having done’ can be about perception, external or internal. We have ideas of who we are, and asking the why of our wants is a good way to uncover where the ideas come from.

It’s often unpleasant to look at, but it is also an opportunity to question - Was the idea forced on you? Was it based on a misbelief of what a good/smart/successful person looks like?

Are there things you enjoy doing that you might have given up in favour of things you ought to have been doing?

Or maybe you had the right idea all along and you just got lazy or distracted on the way? 

It's also worth clarifying that wanting to have done something is not a bad thing. Maybe you just need to complete something to get to the next stage of what you truly want. Recognising that can free you of the obligation to love or enjoy the process and focus on the outcome.

Recognising which bucket the activities you do fall into is an opportunity to be more honest with yourself, to build the path towards the person you want to be, or even the person you might need to be in the moment.

The momentary discomfort of looking within might just be worth it.