Collective memory

My favourite (and only) vacation spot as a child was Nani’s place. And unlike a lot of my classmates, I didn’t have to wait for a summer or winter break to take a long train to pay the house a visit. All we had to do was sit in the car for 15 minutes and lo and behold, we were there. There were 3 major reasons why it was my favourite place ever:

1. Great food

2. Fun with Cousins

3. Unlimited freedom

I followed a strict routine at my house. Wake up at 6 am for school, come back at 2:30 PM, complete homework by 5, watch 30 minutes of a TV Show of my own choice (this was negotiated by the way), pack my school bag for the next day, polish my shoes, off to bed by 8 PM.

Nani’s place, though, was a different story altogether.

You could run and shout around the house, use dupattas as saris and watch unsupervised TV anytime (unbelievable????). I couldn’t believe for years how this level of freedom was possible on a daily basis.

So I couldn’t wait for a weekend where I could pack my bags and arrive. I would complete my homework, prepare for exams, anything, just to be able to run away (It helped that I actually liked studying). Like so many of our families, fun had to be earned.

At the time, THE show to watch was High School Musical, Hannah Montana or Dhoom Machao Dhoom. I might not speak for a whole generation, but that’s what my younger cousin was into. I had never watched these shows at home, but she did, diligently. Sorry, that was an understatement. Not only did she watch it, but she also remembered the theme song of Dhoom Machao Dhoom and made ME memorise it. And then we performed it, on the rooftop of the house, where hopefully nobody watched us.

I was in a lucky place in the hierarchy of siblings. At my own home, I was the younger child. So, I learned about English TV shows like Friends, How I met Your Mother through my sister who would bring them in pen drives from her college friends. I listened to ‘What goes around goes around goes around comes all the way back around’ for the first time on my sister’s phone, using her wired earphones. At my cousins’ place, I was the elder sibling, so I learned about what’s new on the Disney channel. My mom watched Saas bahu serials post dinner, so I knew all about how Mihir died and was resurrected, becoming the pioneer of dead people undying on TV.

I was acquiring cultural capital left, right and center- I became ‘cool’ by association. I could discuss anything from Pakistani dramas to Shin Chan.

I thought to myself - when I grow up, I will know EVERYTHING.

But the internet happened.

We grew up in a small world. We had limited media to consume.

I could sing to any Hindi speaking person “Vajrandanti Vajrandanti Vicco Vajrandanti, Vicco powder Vicco paste….” or“Washing powder Nirma, Washing powder Nirma, Doodh si safedi, Nirma se aayi” and they would invariably complete the song.

Our understanding of our world is rooted in the pieces of media we consume. As teenagers, we learnt what love is from the way SRK romanced Preity Zinta in Kal Ho na Ho, how years of friendship turned into romance from Hum Tum, or how romance transcended lifetimes through Om Shanti Om. These are not perfect in any way but popular media does help in giving a language with which conversations are built and emotions are felt.

Today though, there are infinite options. We have lost any semblance of collective memory or shared experiences. All we have is an echo chamber, with the same ideas regurgitated in different forms. Our media, our minds and our opinions are fragmented. With infinite media at our disposal, what even are our cultural landmarks anymore?

In the age of doom scroll, I wonder if the generations of today will refer to the memes we all laughed at in the 2020s - what their collective memory or bonding experience would look like, whether there will be one or not. We have grown up in an era of limited access and know how algorithms work, yet still find ourselves swayed time to time, unwilling to see the world beyond what matches our values. Will those growing up in this age sink into their own worlds without experiencing anything outside it unless they are forced to?

Perhaps they are smarter than I give them credit for, and what I consider a collective experience can also be limiting in creating a better perspective. Maybe they will find some other way to bond. I hope they do. It will certainly be interesting to watch.