A lesson FROM my 22-year-old self

It was the year 2017 and I had completed my engineering degree. I was, by all means, absolutely ready to take on the world. Of course, not in the field I had studied, but like 70% engineers, finding something else to fulfill that purpose. So, like 50% of those 70%, I decided to pursue an MBA. Now, people do an MBA for all kinds of reasons, it could be to get paid more for the same amount of time you spent on your job pre- MBA, to get access to a strong network which can support your career going ahead or having something *extra* to add on your CV - because who gets a graduate degree without a Masters in this day and age.

Then there are people like me who fall somewhere between being fairly competitive, academically sort-of-good, wanting some time to discover what they would be inclined towards, and finally having stayed at home their whole life, getting to explore a world beyond the people they grew up around (Note how I listed 4 reasons for myself alone while conveniently putting others in a neat little bucket). Mind you, none of these reasons are categorically right or wrong- we are complex human beings with reasons going beyond the tired listicles of ‘Why should you do an MBA’ that anyone with half a brain and a laptop (Also: me) could write up.

Now the interesting situation I found myself in as a fresher meant that I had no idea how to play the game. For example, I found out embarrassingly late that networking was something people actively do during interviews, induction or on forums like Paagalguy. I come from a family where no one in my immediate vicinity had done an MBA, and I ended up being the only one in my friend circle who, in that year, went ahead with an MBA. As a natural introvert, I never went out of my limits to ask any questions because in my mind there were no questions. It was just another milestone for me, an exam to clear and a process to get through, and clearing exams is something I was good at.

And you know what? I was right. It wasn't until I actually joined an MBA institute that I realized what kind of jobs people left, the kind of preparation they had done for each step of the way. I had prepared hard too, but I was unaware of the competition I was dealing with, the number of things I did not know. And that was something I discovered over the course of the 2 years as I met people who had different life experiences, backgrounds and perspectives on work and the world in general. As someone who had travelled alone for the first time to give an MBA interview and not explored the world beyond my college 12 kms away from my home, there was no way I could understand the depth of their knowledge.

But there is a beauty in not knowing what you don't know, or in not knowing that there IS anything you don't know. The Annie, who was in her early 20s, thought ‘How hard could it be?’ Had I known what I was up against, it might have overwhelmed me. I had felt excited on my first plane ride alone and pride in dressing up in suits for interviews (which I rocked by the way). Every time I got a rejection from an institute or felt alone in the waiting room for candidates where everyone seemed to be ahead in the game, I just assumed it was part of the process rather than look at it as a personal failing. Instead of trying to know everything, I had understood the core principles that make me, well, me.

I don't do well in ambiguity, so I had defined the syllabus for myself. Poor at opening GDs and coming up with new ideas? Really listen to others and add your own opinions on their take. Weak in the Quantitative ability section in CAT? Pick questions you know you can get right in 2 minutes in the written CAT test and then go back to the difficult ones. Focus on accuracy rather than number of attempted questions. Do these guidelines apply to everyone? Absolutely not. An equally reasonable advice would be to get more floor time in a GD if that is your personality; or focus on attempting most questions if Quant if that is your strong suit. The downside to reducing the syllabus and focusing on things I understood rather than trying to gain new knowledge was that I had cut off access to a wealth of information which, no doubt, could be helpful in clearing that 1 extra GD or being able to solve that question in an IIM interview I ended up not clearing. But the beautiful upside to the approach was that I was sure that I knew what I knew, and more importantly, what to skip. I was inadvertently focusing on my strength, and as a positive side effect got more confident as I moved ahead.

This is a picture of me at 22 years old - in fact, on the exact date at which I turned 22.

6 years later, when I look back, I wonder if I would have even considered writing the exam had I known what other people had been doing, or that I wasn't particularly great. I was confident I could do well, because I had been doing well up till now and couldn't fathom any other possibility. I had been detached, approaching this big milestone like a game. And because it was a game, it was fun. That didn’t mean I made no effort. I treated it how you would a professional sport. You do what you do best to get an exceptional result. You have to get up early for a strict workout regimen? Well, that is just embedded into the DNA of the game. It’s not a direct indictment of your poor fitness level.

In hindsight, it’s satisfying to unpack the approach I was taking even if I didn't realize at the time that there was a philosophy or strategy behind my beliefs and actions. This article from Jack Raines is an excellent example of how the ‘good ignorance’ you might have can be exactly what you need to bridge the gap between sucking and being successful. For me, that ignorance and oblivion gave me the strength and self-belief to not feel paralyzed and overwhelmed by the challenge that lay in front of me when I was competing with people more accomplished and worldly wiser than I was.

Perhaps the most important lesson my 22-year-old self could impart me is that knowing everything is not necessarily a good thing. Had I known that life ahead is so much tougher than I imagined it to be (as it gets), I might not have had been able to start at all. Instead, I could focus inward and identify what works for me and how I could be better. When combined with (unreasonable) confidence, the result can be satisfying.